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Halloween: A Terrifyingly Mundane Day for Adults

Posted by TShirt Laundry on 10/30/2012 to Misc.
Halloween howls in with the harsh fall wind every year, and every year I get older, I realize how much more fun the holiday was as a kid. Sure there are benefits to being an adult on Halloween – no curfew, easy admission to ‘R’ rated horror films and the ability to buy your own candy – but there are some serious setbacks too.

As a kid, Halloween was one of the most anticipated and planned days of the year. All the important details, such as costumes and who to trick-or-treat with, were settled way in advance (you know, September). Nowadays, it’s find a costume around the house and meet whoever’s at the bar for drinks… in 10 minutes.

In anti-celebration of the holiday as we once knew it, here are 9 reasons why being an adult on Halloween is downright scary.

1. Playing tricks on young kids is frowned upon.

2. People aren’t amused when you go trick or treating unless you’re accompanied by a small child.

3. Halloween reminds you Christmas is coming and you begin to worry how you’ll afford to buy everyone presents.

4. There is no costume parade at work. How is anyone supposed to notice your witty costume while you’re tucked away in a cube?

5. Your rational mind refuses to be even slightly scared by the decorations that used to terrify you at the local Halloween store.

6. The neighbor kids expect you to buy and hand out candy without offering anything in return.

7. You count the calories in candy instead of enjoying eating it.

8. You’ve figured out pumpkin patches are pricey, not fun – have you seen how much they charge for a pumpkin these days?

9. Halloween night is spent at home watching TV reruns because you most likely have to work the next morning.

Sorry if any of this sounds sad, but it’s all true. Go ahead – drown your sorrows in the candy bowl… at least we still have that.

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